When To Start Potty Training Your Toddler

When Elsie was born, I swore to myself we would be done potty training before age two.

Some of the moms who have already been through potty training are probably laughing at me right now. And I get it – you can’t force a kid to be ready if they don’t want to be. But I was so determined to quit buying diapers within two years.

I’m not a cloth diaper kind of mom – not that there is anything wrong with it, it’s just not something I ever wanted to do – and disposable diapers are expensive. In the past year I’ve spent around $600 on diapers and wipes for our house. Since we split time 50/50 with her dad, it would be double that if we had her all the time.

And that’s just for one year.

Then add in the first 6-8 months after she was born, when she was going through way more diapers than she does now. So I’d say overall she’s probably gone through around $3000 worth of diapers and wipes since birth. Crazy, right?

So it’s honestly a big deal financially to get her potty trained successfully.

Once Elsie hit 18 months at the end of April, I told myself we would ease her into potty training. That way when she seemed ready, it would be easy and would take only a week or two to get it down. We introduced her to the toilet, showed her how to open the lid and sit down properly, how to wipe and flush. She loved it.

At least, she loved it when it was just “for fun”.

Now that we are full-blown potty training, she is not having it. Every time I try to get her to use the toilet, she gets so pissed. She screams at the highest pitch imaginable, arches her back so I can’t sit her down, and goes straight feral.

It’s a nightmare.

But we are soldiering through it, day by day. Thankfully her daycare provider has had a lot of experience with potty training, and it helps to have someone else guide us through the process. Because honestly, I would never have known where to start if it wasn’t for her!

The most important tip she gave us was to not use pull ups around the clock. In fact, she said the only time we should use pull ups is when she is sleeping. The rest of the time she should be in regular pants.

Truthfully, I was confused at first. No pull ups? Won’t she just constantly pee herself? The short answer: Yes. There will be tons of accidents. But this is what helps her understand that she has to use the potty and not go in her pants.

If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense: wet pants are uncomfortable, and as a child begins to feel that discomfort from not having pull ups on to keep them dry, it will encourage them to use the potty.

Another thing to remember is you can’t ask them if they have to go potty; you have to tell them when it’s time to go. Toddlers are fond of the word “no” and will tell you they don’t have to go even if they do. Or they may not yet know how to tell if they have the urge to go.

Something we are trying out is setting 20-30 minute timers, then telling Elsie it’s time to try to go potty. It’s going to feel like an exorcism almost every time with her thrashing and fighting us, I’m sure, but eventually it will stop. (I hope.)

We also are testing out the rewards method using our potty training chart.

Every time Elsie uses the potty at home, she will get a sticker for her chart. For every 10 stickers she earns, she will get a mini reward (small candy, a popsicle, etc). Once she gets to 30, she will get a big reward TBD. (Probably something fun like a trip to Bogey’s or ice cream.) Download our potty training reward chart for free! If you’ve got a toddler that isn’t potty trained yet, you might be wondering when is the right time to start.

How did we decide it was time to start potty training?

While I have been adamant about getting her trained before age two (we’ve got a solid 3+ months until then), we didn’t decide to train just because I wanted to. In fact, we gave Elsie plenty of time to get comfortable with the idea of using the “big girl potty” before starting.

First, I saw Elsie was beginning to pay more attention to her body. She was curious about herself; she discovered her [belly] “button”, her “boobies”, and her “down there” area. Elsie had learned names for body parts (arms, feet, fingers, chin, etc) and would actively point them out on others. Now she is able to point to and name any part of her body that you ask her to.

After gaining awareness of her own body, she was aware of others too.

We reached the dreaded point where I could not pee in peace. She followed me into the bathroom every single time I went and would point and say, “Mommy potty.” Then she started sitting on her potty (with her diaper still on) and actually pee while sitting there.

Eventually she would occasionally tell us she had to pee, and would let us her help get situated. And she would go! It was at that point that I knew it was almost time to start.

But I waited until she was telling us multiple times a day that she had to go.

I wanted to make sure she was paying enough attention to her bladder to be successful with potty training. The weekend after Fourth of July she went four or five times (a few just pee, but she did a number two once). So we went to daycare Monday with some training pants and a few extra pairs of shorts.

It’s been a battle, but she seems to be on the right track! Here’s to hoping she is trained before September.