New Year, New Beginnings

I tried my best to get back into writing on a regular basis last summer, but after my last post I got extremely wrapped up in work and just trying to get by.

But there’s been a lot of changes in the past few months – all good things! – which has opened up my schedule quite a bit. I actually have free time again? Which is a weird feeling after so many years of being go, go, go… So I decided to finally circle back to the blog last month, but something still felt off.

Looking at my old content on here…

It felt like reading someone else’s diary. I knew that I had written and published it, but it felt like an entire lifetime ago and as if it was written about a life that wasn’t mine. And I suppose that’s normal, because it isn’t my life. Not really. Not anymore.

It was hard for me to feel motivated to come back and add new content when everything staring back at me was from a time capsule of who I used to be… So I decided some changes were needed on here to reflect all that has changed in my own life.

I’m no longer trying to impress other people by presenting a bright and carefree image of what I thought my life should be. I’m done trying to be some sort of “mommy blogger” or “influencer” pushing products and shit that I don’t care about. And I’m over pretending to be a watered down try-hard version of myself just so I could feel accepted.

That’s just not who I am.

I never was that girl to begin with. If I’ve learned anything so far in my 30s and to loosely quote Schitt’s Creek, it’s that nobody is thinking of you like you’re thinking of you. Meaning that other people are so wrapped up in themselves and their own lives/drama, that they truly aren’t judging you the way you think they are.

And yeah, there’s going to be those nosey types who always want to be in your business or who try to stir shit up, but they’re just projecting their own misery onto you instead of dealing with their own problems. Best to just ignore those types and keep on doing your thing.

Something that’s been a recurring theme lately?

On my Threads feed there is a lot of content about women protecting their peace. I suppose that’s kind of what I’ve been focused on these past couple of years too. I’m working on me, myself, and I, and finding the things that bring joy to my life and building on those foundations to create a life I truly love.

And obviously I’m also taking care of my family and nurturing those relationships too… To tell you the truth, it’s a lot easier to do when I have more “me” time to unwind without the kids around. Plus, having a partner who always keeps his word, pulls his weight around the house, and is so emotionally supportive too, definitely makes a big difference in my happiness. I feel less stressed at home, and even on my bad mental health days he is there to take care of me in a way that nobody else ever has before.

Back in October I left my employer who I’d been with for nine consecutive years (nearly 15 off/on!) and quit my part time job at the grocery store. I found a new job that paid enough to cover the bills, and was able to use savings to take care of the rest of our expenses until my partner moved in and started splitting some of the expenses.

The immense relief I felt?

It’s difficult to put into words. Everything going on during the last year or two I was with my old employer is a story for another day. And while I cared about the people at my retail job and honestly enjoyed working there, I was so burnt out after eight months of working around the clock that I couldn’t keep it up once I started my new office job.

I’m coming up on my 90 days at the new employer, and am finally starting to feel more settled in. My coworkers are great – they’re easy to get along with, and I’m thankful to have such a great boss who is extremely understanding and flexible.

In November, we moved into a new home.

Having four of us in a smallish two bedroom apartment was a little too snug, especially with all of our belongings. We upgraded to a three bedroom townhouse in the same complex, and it feels like we have so much more space now. I imagine we will stay here until we are able to save enough to buy a house in the future. And I’m okay with that. I love it here.

With everything else getting settled…

I felt the blog should reflect that. So I scrapped the old color palette, fonts, and even the logo, and started over. As a deep autumn, my personal color palette tends to have more muted or darker tones, and I absolutely love those color schemes. And I wanted fonts and imagery that was more mature. I mean, I am 33 now, you know.

I’m changing not only the branding of the blog.

I’m also changing the purpose. Earlier in my blogging years, I tried to follow the mommy blogger playbook and “build my brand” using “content pillars” and “calls to action” and affiliate links and blah blah blah… Ugh. Not only was all of that SO EXHAUSTING, it just felt so fake to me.

Why do I need to choose only three or four overarching themes on my blog? Why is it a must to have something to sell? And why do I have to create a vision and marketing plan and cross-post on FB, IG, Snap, and TikTok? Those aren’t blogs, those are influencer businesses disguised using emotionally-driven “authentic” content to promote sales.

If that’s their jam, great. Be a boss babe. Hustle. [Enter other cliche motivational memes those women use.] But we all know the truth is that what you see on social media isn’t the full picture, and usually is glammed up to appear way better than what their life is like in real life. And for me, I just like to show up as I am.

The purpose of a blog was never meant to be to sell shit.

Blogging used to be a way to connect – truly connect – with other people online. To build a community of like-minded people. To let others know that even though they may feel like they’re on an island by themselves, they aren’t alone. It wasn’t meant to be a side hustle to turn into a business to sell courses or products or whatever else. It was about writing stories of your life to share with others.

All this rambling to say…

I’m going to be using this blog to tell stories again. I’m not going to be linking products or giving a sales pitch. SEO can kiss my ass, honestly. I’m just here to overshare and enjoy the time I have left in this life. Because to be honest, with the way things are going in this country lately, who knows how long any of us have left before it all burns.

xo, Kristan.